Can you get an STI from oral? Yes. Here's the grown-up version

"Oral doesn't count though."

It counts. Sorry. It counts for pregnancy in exactly the way you think (not at all), and it counts for everything else in the way you've been quietly hoping it doesn't.

Here's the grown-up version. No horror stories, no leaflet. Just what can go where, what can't, and the one bit of admin that fixes most of it.

The yes list

Chlamydia. Yes, both directions. It lives in the throat quite happily and almost never says so. Someone with throat chlamydia has, as a rule, no idea. Cleared with a week of tablets, once anyone finds it.

Gonorrhoea. Yes, and the throat is one of its favourite places. Again, usually no symptoms. Maybe a sore throat you'd put down to a cold. One injection sorts it. Finding it is the hard part.

Syphilis. Yes. It spreads through contact with a sore, and a sore in someone's mouth is exactly the sort of thing you'd never notice and exactly the sort of thing that does the job. Penicillin cures it, and a standard blood test picks it up.

Herpes. Yes, and this is the one with the plot twist. See below.

HPV. Yes. It can settle in the throat. Most people clear it without knowing. The vaccine covers the types that matter, and if you're under 25 and didn't get it at school, you can still ask.

That's five. It's the same list as everything else, more or less, which is the point. Your mouth is not a special exemption zone. It's just a different bit of you.

The basically-no list

HIV. Not impossible, but very unlikely. The risk from oral is a fraction of the risk from anything else, and the fraction gets smaller still if nobody's got bleeding gums or a mouth ulcer. It's the one thing on this page you can mostly stop worrying about.

That's about it for the no list. Everything else is a yes or a "technically".

The cold sore thing

A cold sore is herpes. Same virus, different address. Most people who've got one caught it as a kid from an auntie and think of it as a thing that happens in winter.

And a cold sore, or the day or two before it appears, can pass the virus from a mouth to anywhere that mouth goes. Which means someone with a cold sore going down on you can give you genital herpes. This is now one of the most common ways people get it.

A cold sore isn't a cold. It's herpes with a nicer name, and it travels.

The rule is simple and everyone breaks it: not while there's a cold sore, and not while one's brewing. Tingly lip, wait a week. It's not forever. It's just this week.

Why your clean test might have missed your throat

Here's the bit people genuinely don't know.

A standard test is a wee sample and a finger prick. The wee finds chlamydia and gonorrhoea below the belt. The blood finds HIV and syphilis anywhere. Neither of them looks in your throat.

So you can have a beautiful "all clear" text and throat gonorrhoea at the same time. Not because the test was wrong, but because it wasn't asked.

Postal kits fix this if you let them. When you order, they'll ask whether you've given oral. Say yes, and a throat swab goes in the envelope with everything else. Ten seconds, back of the throat, slightly unpleasant, done. Clinics do the same if you tell them.

Loads of people say no to the question because they think it's asking something judgemental. It isn't. It's asking whether to post you a cotton bud.

There's a full breakdown of what a clean test covers if you want to see where the gaps are.

What grown-ups actually do about it

You could use a condom for oral. Some people do. There are also little squares of latex called dental dams, and if you've ever met anyone who's used one, you're ahead of us.

Here's what people actually do, in the real world, in order of usefulness:

They get a throat swab with every test. That's the big one. It's what turns "all clear" into all clear.

They don't go down on anyone with a cold sore, or with anything else they can see. Not a lecture, just eyes.

They test after someone new, about two weeks later, including the throat.

And they treat "oral doesn't count" the way they treat "I'll just have one": fondly, and without believing it.

The green tick and your throat

When someone uploads a clean test to the app, the tick shows what the test actually covered. If it was the four plus a throat swab, you'll see that. If it was just the four, you'll see that too.

So say yes to the swab. Your tick's better for it, and the person typing in your number can see exactly what you bothered to check.

Where to get tested, throat swab included.